The New Computer

It's been a while since I've posted on my blog, but I'm back. My new computer is awesome, but it has it's problems. Like it doesn't have a free version of Microsoft Word, it wants me to buy a copy for $100 a year. No, thank you! So, I'm going to be asking my dad for help in finding a replacement program. Anyway, I'm still learning what does what, but it's all pretty cool. It's got a build in web cam and I'm going to use that sooner or later. The start menu is trippy too. I'll have to look around and see what I can and can't do.

I just want to say that from now on, I'll be posting every Saturday with a new commentary on what's going on in my life. I'll see you later. This is the Cat Samurai signing off.

Coworkers.

I've worked at my job at a fast food restaurant for the last five years. I've seen coworkers come and go. Some I've been sad to see leave, others not so much. Right now, I have one really bad coworker. I dislike the guy. He's rude, mean, and he doesn't know when to stop messing with me. Now, we all joke around, play pranks, and scare each other sometimes, but this guy doesn't know when the jokes over. He tries to trip me, he makes obscene joke whenever I use the hose to fill up the mop bucket or whenever he makes a hotdog for a customer, and he keeps trying to ask about my love life like it's his business. I hate working with him. Fortunately, I doesn't work with him often. But here's the reason I'm posting all this here....


On Monday, he was given nearly 42 hours of work. I only get about 20 or 24 a week. I was angry. I was angry and I let the managers know it. When the told me he was filling hours for someone who couldn't make it to work this week, I was even madder. I was like, "Why give him all of those hours? Why not split them up among everyone like usual?" Part of me thought it was because he's dating one of the managers, but I don't know. Well, I was so upset and angry that I cried. I cried and dragged myself into a level of self hate that I hadn't been in a long time. I finished my work and left. When I got home, I told my parents and they were sympathetic. I'm still a little upset about it, bit I'm now upset for another reason.


I'm upset because I let myself fall into the pit again. That deep dark pit of self loathing I've struggled to get myself out of. I gave the whole thing a lot of thought I and realized my problem. I let my dislike for that coworker ruin my night and possibly my reputation at work. Last night, I apologized for what I did to the managers that were working and to some of my coworkers that were there too. When I see him next, I'll also apologize to the one who keeps giving me trouble. He doesn't deserve my respect, but he does deserve my apology.

A Little Hope.

So much has happened last week. The Boston Marathon explosions, the Waco, Texas fertilizer plant accident, and a 6.1 earthquake near Japan. So much death, loss, and pain that seems so rampant in our world today. If you ask a religious person, they may tell you the world is ending soon, but I don't think so.

I try to look at the positive in life. It's harder to find now that I'm older and know more about the world then I did as a child, but I can find it. The positive is that people stopped to help. After the explosions at the Boston Marathon people, who had just ran the whole course, ran to get help or give blood. As long as there are people who will give of themselves to save others, there's a little hope.

When I look at me nephews and nieces, I feel like the future has a better chance then we think it does. When I talk to my oldest nephew and realize how much smarter he is then me, I feel that there's a little hope. When my nieces are drawing and coloring pictures of buildings and friends and making love notes to me and my parents, I feel that there's a little hope.

So, maybe our lives are not as hard as we make them out to be. All we need is a little hope. A little hope is more powerful than we give it credit for. So, look for your little hope and hold onto it for all it's worth.

Life

Life been going much better for me lately. I'm not as worried or upset in my life. I'm not feeling like everything is my fault. I feel great.

Plans.

Well, I past the drivers test a few days ago. Now, I need to wait until I'm on my parents insurance. Then, I'll start learning to drive. I'm a little nervous about it. But if I start driving I can start looking for jobs in a wider area.

DMV

After sitting around the DMV for four hours today, I failed my driver test. I was hoping I'd get it the first time in. But no. I scored a 63.99. Sucks Now, I'm gonna have to sit in there again tomorrow and take it again. I don't want to! The waiting sucks! I would rather have my dick cut off then sit around that fucking place again. Oh, well. bob won't let me quit until I get it done.

Writing.

I've always had good ideas when it comes to stories. What I lack is drive to write. I think I'll start cutting myself off from Tv and such to write some.

I'm lonely.

I wish I could have a girlfriend. I wish I knew what to do to impress girls. I have nothing going for me.