I've long had problems with m own self worth. I hate the highs and lows I have. I know I'm not bipolar. If I was, I would get depressed for no reason. I get depressed because some thing tiny goes wrong. I hate it! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT! I rip myself to shreds emotionally for no reason!
Over the tiniest of things! I wish I could stop doing it to myself. I wish I could just look at something and say, "It doesn't matter. It's not my fault. And if it is, then fine. I'll deal with it." But I can't do that. WHY?! What is stopping me from just moving on? Why do I continually torture myself like this!?!?! All I've ever wanted is to make people happy. So, why do I get so upset when they're not? It's not my job to make everyone happy. It's not my job to keep everything okay. So, why do I do punish myself when something like this happens? I want to yell and scream and beat on something, but I can't. I know it won't fix anything.
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